There was a time, it’s been awhile
When all I wished for was a smile
My baby boy, my pride and joy
Just sat and rocked; ignored his toys
He didn’t wave or seem to care
Looked right through me with his stare
Just one word or a look my way
So many nights, awake, I prayed
“Oh higher power, somewhere out there”
“Can’t you see how much I care?”
I offered my life in an even trade
Make him whole and I’d die today
He’s my little boy, but he doesn’t speak
Nothing helps and I feel so weak
How did I fail, what was my crime?
That my baby boy has to serve my time
So many questions with untested solutions
We tried everything; with few improvements
The days, they were long, the nights much longer
As I struggled in self-pity, my wife was much stronger
She’s angelic and nurturing and her heart is so pure
“It’s autism,” she said, “and there is no cure”
The truth, how it hurt; it left scars my soul
I nearly tipped over, fell deep in some hole
And yet I was stopped, perhaps a hint from above
So I gathered my strength; used the power of love
Those distant blue eyes, where everything seemed lost
Dedicated to help him, no matter the cost
Every credit card, dollar and every red cent
Spent them all wisely; they came and they went
Many teachers, many tutors, and so much therapy
Each moment so worth it, in hopes he’d be free
Days went by, then months, and then years
We faced constant battles, felt constant fears
It was the hardest thing that I’d ever had done
But I’d do it again, because it helped out my son
I confess to moments of weakness at times
Shouting out loud, nearly losing my mind
My tearful nights and sometimes alcohol
I was looking for answers; a safe place to crawl
Seeking sense those night, when all seemed lost
Wondering again, what line did I cross?
Until one day when everything changed
As if, our Creator had things arranged
My wife she kissed me, and went to bed
A million thoughts ran through my head
I had what some might call an epiphany
Overcame my fears; I could finally see
Our little boy was not alone
He had a family, he had a home
Even though there was no plan
We stood as one, we made our stand
Two steps forward and many steps back
With help we brought his life on track
Our daughter made a special bond
My wife, the anchor, kept us strong
With love, and love, and love some more
We watched him blossom; that’s for sure
It’s a family thing, and I’m so humbled
Supported one another, so no one crumbled
Each step, each day, some big, some small
We all are there; won’t let him fall
Tears are flowing but I’m no longer sad
He’s my little boy….and I’m his dad
Author’s Note
I am a proud parent of a son living with Autism. He’s amazing and I’m blessed that Creator chose me to be his father. Both his mother and sister are amazing beyond any words I can say – they are the top two reasons why he’s as far along as he is today. I am honored, blessed and humbled to have them both in my life. I’m encouraged by watching my son overcome challenges and start his journey to manhood. It’s inspiring to see his strength and resolve.
This poem is dedicated to every mother, father, sister, brother, friend, and health-care professional who gives their time and resources to helping someone with autism live a complete life. You make more of a difference than anyone might say out loud or you may ever realize. Thank you.
-What Doesn’t Kill You, Makes You Stronger (Friedrich Nietzsche)
Links to Autism Resources
- Beltane Ritual 2025 – The Fire Between the Worlds - April 16, 2025
- The Pagan Roots of Mother’s Day: Celebrating the Divine Feminine - April 11, 2025
- 2025 Full Pink Moon Ritual - April 9, 2025
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