Alpha Male or Beta Male – Which Direction Are Men To Take?


We’ve all heard the terms Alpha male and Beta male and we’ve all likely heard the opinions of countless numbers of our peers and the media tell us their definitions of them.   We’ve heard feminist voices scream at the top of their lungs about toxic masculinity and how it’s the root of all evil.  Listened to speeches degrading competition while trying to make a one-size-fits-all narrative when it comes to winning and losing.  Watched as our schools handed out participation trophies at inter-mural events.  Bitten down on our tongues to keep from an angry outburst at the demonization of masculinity and attempts to erase hunting, fishing, and many other manly activities.  Across the nation, men are being attacked for simply being men.  Some men resist while others choose to bow their heads and follow orders; surrendering their primitive core beliefs of being a man, simply to be liked.

The shift from Alpha to Beta is growing and it’s being fueled by many things; lack of a male role model, the rise of feminism, the school system, and the media.  In the old days, boys were forged into men during their formative years; fathers would teach them about the manly arts, but also about respect, being a good winner and loser, and adhering to the values and customs of their family and their nation.  Religion played a role in teaching the lessons of faith, charity and leadership.  Boys were allowed to play hard and learn their own lessons from the school of hard knocks as opposed to having a helicopter parent always putting on the brakes.  Firearms were a regular part of life as were fishing rods, balls and gloves, bicycles, and summer jobs.  Fathers spent their free time teaching their sons the skills that they would need to become men; real men who contributed to the betterment of the country and would be capable and independent adults, ready to take on the world.

Beta Male

Yet today in our single female-parent households, boys are being neutered on a daily basis. Many of these women are unhappy and blame a man for their misfortunes, so they project this negative viewpoint onto their boys.  Young men are being raised to believe that they are the cause of almost every problem in the world and it’s damaging them severely; some almost beyond repair.  Physical activities, especially ones of high competition, are frowned upon and the knowledge of the ways of the old simply isn’t taught.  What is taught instead is fear; fear of everything risky, fear of firearms, fear of confrontation or fighting, fear of being wrong, and even fear of speaking their minds.  What instead fosters in this new environment is insecurity, weakness, nervousness, and anxiety; traits which literally suck the life out of a developing boy.

The media and the feminist movement are the second biggest problem.  The feminist movement basically denounces all things male or manly, especially anything which seems even remotely violent.  This includes sports, cars, hunting, fishing, outdoor activities, lion taming, fighting, wrestling, and good old fashioned playing war.  The irony of this is that the same people who denounce masculinity will allow and even encourage those boys to play video games with the same subject matter.  Video games are the baby-sitter for many young boys and often lead to additional troubles down the road.  The media supports the feminist movement and regularly puts men down for being men.  This multi-prong assault on all things manly is no longer a niche thing.  Make no bones about it, the Beta male population is rapidly increasing.

The Alpha male population isn’t ready to be driven to extinction just yet.  Strong Alpha role models still exist and the current over-the-top environment of political correctness can only help to bring some of the Beta’s back to their masculine roots.  Many people are unsure of exactly what traits separate the two groups and how membership in one camp of the other can be perceived by society, a potential lover, or an employer.  We can look at both groups briefly to get a snapshot of what each one looks like, even though most people already have their own opinion formed already.  Some of the characteristics can be easily spotted, while others may only show themselves situationally.  There is no scientific method to determining which group any given male will fit into, but since the entire concept is a social construct much like gender classifications, it’s up to the individual to determine which group they belong to.

Which Characteristics Are Mainly Beta

Men who fall into the Beta subcategory are usually easy to spot, but only if you pay attention.  You see, most Beta men don’t stand out in a crowd; in fact they don’t stand out in most situations.  It’s not because they aren’t capable of being iconic, it’s that they’ve been trained to sit down, shut up, and follow orders.  They rarely take risks and can be counted on to be “present” most of the time.  They avoid any situation which could cause them to get in “trouble” or embarrass themselves.  They are nice guys who would rather subdue all of their manliness rather than let it all hang out.  Bottom line with Beta males is that they want to be liked by everyone, and moreover, they want everyone’s approval.  They are terrified of being called out and many have anxiety issues which develop based on “what if” scenarios.  They convince themselves that if they stray from the Beta path, then all the worst things they imagine will happen all at once.

Beta males are non-confrontational to a fault and can be observed agreeing with things they actually don’t agree with, just to avoid an argument.   They are also like eager puppies, ready to jump when someone throws them a ball and follow instructions without question.  If things don’t go their way, you can expect a tantrum that may include crying, hand wringing, and a litany of other pathetic behaviors.  Countless observations can be made watching the modern generation, which demonstrates this fact.  Millennial man/boys will do unexplainable things such as scream at the sky when they don’t get their way.  To describe them as passive-aggressive is an understatement.  Instead of confronting a difficult situation with healthy debate or real problem solving techniques, they resort to unproductive tactics.  Some of these are sarcasm, pouting, social media bomb throwing (under an assumed identity of course), sabotage, and a host of childish facial expressions.  Collectively it makes them appear as less of a man to other males.

They lack masculinity in almost every way possible.  They are not seen as sexual by most females and even if they do have a strong sex-drive, they bury it and allow their own anxieties to basically destroy it before it’s allowed to flourish.  They often find themselves in “third wheel” situations with female friends, being consulted for agreeable conversation, but never for physical love.  They have a deep feeling of inadequacy when it comes to the bedroom and intimacy is awkward and unfulfilling to them because they repress the raw animalistic maleness that they were born with.  They’ve been somehow convinced that their needs are not important and they feel ashamed at wanting to feel the bliss of a fully engaged physical relationship.  They allow fake emotional responses to replace the real emotional bond that develops between couples but simultaneously pout because they cannot reach that state of real happiness.

Alpha male

Which Characteristics Are Mainly Alpha

Alpha males are what we call “real men.”  They are brimming with confidence, ready to not only take on the world, but to win it over with whatever it is they set out to do.   Alpha men are planners; they plan to win and to do so with style and sophistication.  Deep down inside of every Alpha is a white-hot engine, brimming with a never-quit attitude and a desire to always keep improving.  To call them competitive would be shortchanging them; Alpha men don’t just want to win, they want to spike the ball and run around the end zone with an American flag in one hand and a bottle of cold beer in the other.  They want to be the best, just like their ancestors who battled among one another to see who could claim the prize of the most voluptuous woman or the prized hunting area.  Risk taking and dealing with pressure situations are normal everyday activities for a strong man.  No one ever gets ahead being passive.  The comfort zone of an Alpha is broad and they are highly adaptive to the situation.  Alphas don’t always win, but they don’t resort to pouting when they lose; they work harder to win the next time.

It’s easy to spot an Alpha male.  They are larger than life and command attention when they enter a room.  Unlike Beta males, who feed on the attention, Alpha men don’t care what other people think most of the time.  They don’t have time to analyze what everyone else is thinking or how they are being judged because they are too busy living their own lives.  Although they may walk and talk like they want attention, it’s merely a consequence of their high level of confidence.  When in social situations, they often stake out a territory and let others gravitate to them, rather than butterfly from group to group in hopes of catching a few scraps from the table.  The Alpha knows that what he has to offer is enticing to both other men and women alike, but he is gracious as a king can be.  Others notice their traits.  Strong eye contact, speaking confidently and loud enough to be heard, but also calm and demonstrative of their knowledge on their particular fields.  Unlike Beta males, who will claim to know everything about anything, Alpha males don’t need external validation so they have no need to embellish things.

When it comes to a physical relationship, Alpha males most always end up getting the girl, or guy, depending on their orientation.  Yes, Alpha men can be straight or gay.  They are confident lovers and will make sure both they and their partner are satisfied when engaged in lovemaking.  They know their limitations, but aren’t constrained by an imaginary belief system which denies them achieving a state of emotional and physical bliss.  If something doesn’t seem right to them, they are not afraid of being judged because they say no to it.  If they are in a relationship which is toxic or too drama-laden, Alpha men often walk away and keep looking until they find something that makes them happy.  Expectations are always high and they give their partners every benefit of the doubt, but aren’t ready to become entrenched in a quagmire of drama.

The Wildcard Category

Like everything else in our world, as soon as something is classified, it get reclassified and expanded.  If you have any doubt, then simply turn an eye to the concept of gender.  Everyone knows there are only two actual sex classifications, but gender is something entirely different.  We’ve watched as it has grown to more than one hundred different named categories and it appears to be unstoppable to how far it can go.  Human beings don’t like being put into a single category and will usually try to carve out their own niche with their own set of rules and guidelines.  It’s no different in this discussion.

We need to further look at the Gamma male, the Omega male, and the Sigma male when discussing male classifications.  The Omega male is very similar to the Alpha male; that is unless you are talking to someone who relates as an Omega as they’ll state an air of superiority to the Alpha.  The main differences are Omega men are distant and have few if any relationships, including intimate ones.  They don’t want to lead but also do not like to be led. Many would call them self-possessed.  Gamma males are like the invisible man.  They are present, but that’s about it.  They aren’t totally broken like many Beta males, but neither are they charismatic and adored like an Alpha.  Some would say this is the true middle-of-the-road man.  Others say it’s merely a state of limbo while deciding whether to step up to Alpha or step down to Beta.  They usually show no remarkable traits, do just fine with dating, and are comfortable in both leadership and being led situations.

The last and newest addition is the Sigma male.  Being a Sigma is similar to being a narcissist.  They are cunning and manipulative men with highly intuitive minds who often play games with people.  They are present in a way that people both fear and respect them; much like a borderline psychopath these men revel in the fact that they are a wild card.  They enjoy playing both sides of the fence for their own personal gain.  They do not seek to be leaders and have no desire to climb the social ladder.  Many believe that Sigma males are or could have been Alpha males except for some trauma in their formative years which damaged them.  Women have difficulties getting close to Sigma men because they do not need or want anything from anyone.  Alpha men can spot them for what they are, but leave them alone as they pose no threat.


Alpha men are the top of the hierarchy of male classification.  They are the quintessential “survival of the fittest” grouping who get priority seating at the table, meet and sleep with the strongest partners, and usually have the most opportunities in life.  Unlike the animal kingdom, Alpha males can be dominant at a very old age as can be seen in our current society.  And also unlike the animal kingdom, dominance isn’t determined by physical strength alone.  Human Beta males can move up without having to defeat the Alpha in mortal combat in several ways.  Intelligence and education allows for skill-building which can lead to a great job with a great salary; money is proven to be a leveling factor in classification of men.  Another option is to take a risk and step outside of their comfort zone, tenuously at first, but just enough to build confidence.  This method is slower but worth the investment in time.  Furthermore, finding a suitable role model or friend who is an Alpha and being his wing-man for a while will expose the Beta male to behaviors that he can learn from.

Not all men desire to make the leap from Beta to Alpha, or any of the other wild card classifications.  Some men are perfectly content in their secondary position and some actually enjoy their cuckolded lifestyles.  But if the opposite is true, then the first step is to give up the notions of entitlement, fairness, balance, acceptance, and political correctness.  This alone will get you back to a neutral position.  Life is not fair, social justice is not real justice, competition is the basis of all things that matter, and the opinions of others don’t mean anything unless you give them meaning.  Your emotions are important, but they shouldn’t be the only thing guiding your life.  Think and act by the common-sense method, take risks but not dangerous risks, don’t get discouraged when you fail or get shot down by a potential partner, and above all, do not quit.  If you continue to behave in the ways of the Alpha, your brain will begin to evolve and free thought will once again flow.  Be your own man and let the haters be haters – you do not owe anything to anyone except yourself.

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